Altered.

One of the biggest phobia I suffer from is coulrophobia, which is fear of clowns. I'm gonna tell you why.

Not only due to their over made-up face (horrifying!) and the way their face is made to smile but you can see the misery behind that painted face, it's also due to a dream I had when I was a kid. Around 4 or 5.

I had this black rocking chair when I was younger and I loved it so much that I ate and take my naps there. So this one night, I had a dream where my mum and I sat on that rocking chair in a fun fair, but there was nobody there. Only some creepy music, my mum and I.

Mum was soothing me cuz I got really terrified, and then along came this 6 feet tall clown with green hair. He was bald in the middle, he wore a red hat and his green hair was sticking out from the sides. He came to us and started talking to my mum, sweetly. But then when he looked at me, there was this... menace on his face. His smile was creepingly sinister. And evil.

I hugged my mum real tight, tried to hold on real bad. Mum was still giggling and I wondered, "Why are you laughing? What's so funny? Can't you see that he wants to take you away?"

Little did I know, what I felt was true. The clown pulled me, tried to let go of my hold on mum. I was small but I was somewhat strong. He couldn't pull me away.

Until...

Mum herself pulled away from me. She let go of my hand. I was startled! Why would mum do that, I thought. And at that very moment of not holding on, that nanosecond where I stopped and wondered, the clown got to me. He pulled me away from my mum, from the rocking chair and he took my place on mum's lap.

He sneered, snickered. I was on the floor. He whispered something to mum and mum giggled again, and then he rocked the chair away from me. He kept rocking and the chair moved forward and further away from me. I screamed for mum but she just smiled and waved.

After a few seconds, they were gone. They were both gone just like that. The moment they dissapeared, a huge puff of smoke crept towards me. With that puff of smoke, along came hundreds of clowns, surrounding me, suffocating me. I remembered crying, the difficulty to breathe. One clown put a plastic bag over my head, suffocating me. I was choking, and I was still screaming.

That was all I remember.

For that dream alone, I am now forever afraid of clowns. I'll avoid them at any cost. I punched this one clown when I was 17 because he won't stop bugging me. He knows I was scared and he wouldn't stop harrassing me.

But that particular dream changed my life. I am forever the girl who is afraid of clowns.

I was altered.
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