Top 15 one-liner. HAHA I think they're funny :D
1. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
2. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
4. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
5. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. :)
6. Children -- You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
7. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
8. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
9. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
10. Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
11. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
12. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
13. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
14. Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
15. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
AHAHA good therapy for Mia. Goodnite loves :)
.
No comments:
Post a Comment